Yo, Miss! (No. 48)

Let's Work It Out On The Remix

I spent a large part of today listening to a remix off of Charli xcx’s new album Brat: “The Girl, so confusing version with lorde”.

The song has led to emotional responses from women all over the internet because it touches on a lot of universal experiences to which many of us can relate. The two pop stars, who both became famous as teenagers, vulnerably share their insecurities as well as music industry pressures that fueled misunderstanding and a perceived rivalry between them.

In the end, their collaboration on this song is a testament to the fact that women can be successful pop stars without tearing one another down. In fact, when they come together and hash out any tension, they not only encourage other women to do the same, they can make really amazing music too!

This track provides a refreshing blueprint for how all women can rise above the insecurities stoked by patriarchal systems that keep us divided: self-introspection and raw honest communication. But, it also involves separating ourselves from a system in which we were born. One that thrives off of keeping us in competition! That is why online communities as well as IRL ones where women discuss these issues are so crucial. (I also can’t help but mention that this is why the Feminist Eagles club at my school has been such a great space for the students since we founded the club in 2015)

This Charli xcx/Lorde remix is a very powerful conversation starter.

In the original song, “Girl, so confusing,” Charli grapples with maintaining female friendships in the music industry that is infamously not kind to women. She also explores her insecurities when compared to Lorde and how it led to tensions in their relationship. In one part, Charli sang:

“People say we’re alike/They say we’ve got the same hair/We talk about making music/But I don’t know if it’s honest/Can’t tell if you wanna see me/Falling over and failing,”

And in the remix, we learn that Lorde feels the same way as Charli:

Well, honestly, I was speechless
When I woke up to your voice note
You told me how you’d been feeling
Let's work it out on the remix
You’d always say, “Let’s go out”
But then I’d cancel last minute
I was so lost in my head
And scared to be in the pictures
’Cause for the last couple years
I’ve been at war in my body
I tried to starve myself thinner
And then I gained all the weight back
I was trapped in the hatred
And your life seemed so awesome
I never thought for a second
My voice was in your head

At the end of the remix, Lorde sang:

People say we're alike
They say we've got the same hair
It's you and me on the coin
The industry loves to spend
And when we put this to bed
The internet will go crazy
I'm glad I know how you feel
'Cause I ride for you, Charli (Charli, Charli)

@user473331588629.2girl, so confusing #meangirls #whitelotus #shivababy #promisingyoungwoman #effy #americanbeauty #eileen #broadcity #severance #seinfeld #biglittlelies #blackswan #brittanymurphy

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We have let systemic forces separate us for too long. But, women are starting to acknowledge this. We are beginning to break them down and start forging crucial communities that will make us even more united and powerful.

It is especially important that women find ways to come together amidst a political landscape where right wing forces continue to take away our human rights.

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Speaking of the need to completely change the whole system:

I watched a segment the other morning on MSNBC about how governments are exploring matchmaking to boost birthrates. Companies in the United States are considering paying for dating apps for employees.

They are all missing the underlying systemic problem, at least for women who date men.

More and more women are no longer lowering their standards for men and they are also no longer putting up with patriarchal relationship standards. They are choosing to be alone over putting up with the bad behavior of men. And trust me, dating apps are not the solution. They are a part of the problem.

And, yes, there are other larger issues: fear of getting pregnant due to the erosion of our reproductive rights as well as the lack of an adequate and affordable childcare system in America. Also, corporations should just pay people more instead of giving them perks like dating app subscriptions.

We need massive structural change.

We can’t work out THESE problems in a remix.

We need to build a whole new structure.

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In the meantime, here’s a playlist I made for you